amritaspeaks

The issue of dyslexia was first touched upon in Aamir Khan’s film Taare Zameen Par and then there are famous people like Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso, Richard Branson and Whoopi Goldberg who have talked about their struggles with dyslexia. Watching it in a movie or hearing celebs speak about it is one thing but dealing with the issue every single day is another thing. This is the story of Gargi Majumder, who is the regional head of Max Life Insurance in Kolkata, her businessman husband Subir Chakraborty and how they dealt with their son Vedatman’s dyslexia and came out triumphant.

“What you see in Taare Zameen Par is exactly what Vedatman faced. But the only difference is that unlike Ishaan in the film, Vedatman has supportive parents, who from the very beginning were willing to acknowledge and address the issue and never judged him for his incapability. We never expected him to do well in his exams, we always just wanted him to pass but by coming out with flying colours in his CBSE class X Board exams he has surpassed all our expectations,” said Gargi.

The road to this high score was an unimaginable uphill climb. The walk in this rocky terrain started when Vedatman was in Lower KG. As a 4-year-old he was always a lively child, curious and talking nineteen to a dozen. His battle started when he was taught to read and write in class.

 The Mayo Clinic describes dyslexia as a learning disorder that involves difficulty in reading due to problems in identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding). Also called a reading disability, dyslexia is a result of individual differences in areas of the brain that process language.

In an interview to my blog Gargi Majumder shares her struggles with her child, years of hopelessness and humiliation that she had to face and how her child proved that with a little bit of support anything is possible.

When did you first realise Vedatman has a learning problem?

He joined a renowned school in East Kolkata Township in nursery. When he was in Lower KG he was unable to finish any classwork, was very slow and the school would keep calling me and telling me that he was unable to cope. When he was promoted to Class I, I had to sign a bond saying that if he did not fare well he would be demoted to Upper KG.

That’s when I consulted a psychiatrist who suggested that I should change his school. I had already paid Rs 88,000 as session fees so financially it was not a feasible proposal. But one day just before the summer vacation the teachers called me to school and humiliated me regarding his slow learning. That’s when I decided I would change his school.

But one day just before the summer vacation the teachers called me to school and humiliated me regarding his slow learning. That’s when I decided I would change his school.

Where did you put him?

Indus Valley World School had just started then and I approached them. The Principal made my son very comfortable and asked him a few questions. He could answer a few and he agreed to take him in the middle of school session.

But my son’s apathy towards studies continued. When the Special Educator Wing in the school was established they started giving him special attention. This made a slight change in his progress but he still could not follow class work or read the black board. That’s when we went to Apollo Medical Centre, Gariahat and tests were conducted and it was confirmed that he had dyslexia.

But as the years progressed, the worst thing I started noticing was he did not want to interact with his friends anymore and was withdrawing into a cocoon because he was thinking he was lesser than others.

Did you take any steps then?

Indus Valley World School had 3-4 children like him and they continued to be extremely supportive. They suggested we take him to Monochetna a wing of Monovikas Kendra that provides special classes to children from mainstream schools.

In this regard I would say that many of us are borderline dyslexic and we do not even know it. For instance I was very good in studies but terrible in Maths and could never cope with it. When we were children no one was familiar with this term and many slow students in class were harassed and humiliated because they were considered dumb. But someone who is dyslexic can do other things well. Like my son is very passionate about cricket and he plays well . He would give anything not to miss practise. He is also extremely good at painting and is very tech savvy. He is very gentle and caring towards his pet German Shepherd named Whiskey and they spend a lot of time together.

But someone who is dyslexic can do other things well. Like my son is very passionate about cricket and he plays well and he would give anything not to miss practise.

At Monochetana they again ran some tests and found out that Vedatman’s dyslexia gave him serious learning disability so much so that he could barely read and write long sentences. Although the facilities there were good Vedatman somehow did not want to continue there and we didn’t want to push him against his will.

 As a mother how difficult was it for you?

As a mother the most difficult part was to accept in the first place that he has a learning disorder. But I knew if he had to go ahead in life acknowledging and addressing were the only solutions. I had to attend three to four parent- teacher meetings every month to discuss his progress with his teachers. Being a working mother it was difficult for me to take time out from work and go to his school so frequently. Before his pre-boards I took leave for 19 days and before the boards for 11 days because I wanted to be with him. It was year-ending then and being a team leader it was very hard for me to be away from work. But senior management and HR of Max Life Insurance were very supportive. I also got unstinted support from my colleagues.

Any other company might have judged me for prioritising my son but they never did so. They were always supportive, acknowledged my hard work and time-management capabilities which reflected in the appraisals.

As a mother the most difficult part was to accept in the first place that he has a learning disorder. But I knew if he had to go ahead in life acknowledging and addressing were the only solutions.

What according to you was the turning point in Ved’s story?

The school sent us to the organisation Breaking Through Dyslexia (BTD) where he took a number of tests and the results showed that he also has ADHD. They wrote that the tests suggested he had difficulties in reading fluency and comprehension and difficulty in Math calculation and written expression. So they suggested instead of Maths and Science he should take Home Science and Information Technology. He should also get extra time to write his exams.

This was sent to the CBSE Board. This was actually the turning point. When Maths and Science were taken out from his curriculum Ved was slightly relieved. At this point his confidence had gone to the depths and to avoid Math he had started hiding in the school bathroom.

He also realised that his parents, school teachers, tutors and even the CBSE Board was backing him to do better. He was taught how to memorise the keywords and attempt only the short answers. Just a month before the exams a transformation happened. He told me for a month he won’t go to cricket practice – something I never discouraged even days before exams – and concentrate in his studies.

 So finally the battle’s won…

It was truly a long battle that we fought for more than a decade. The worst thing in this battle was people’s unsolicited opinions and advice. One day when my son came from school he was very upset. He told me one of his friend’s moms had said, “Ved’s mom badgers the teachers that’s why he passes every year otherwise he would have been staying back in each grade.”

A comment like this perforates a child’s heart and we had to deal with it every day. But now that he has come out with flying colours it has given him a huge confidence boost. He is now eagerly looking forward to a future. He was never sure of himself earlier but now he is. He wants to study graphic designing and is telling me to start him off on online courses.

What is your advice to parents who are dealing with children with similar issues?

Acknowledging the issue is the first step. Not letting other people’s words demotivate you is the other. People will keep comparing your child to others but you have to keep in mind that your child is unique and he will be good at some things and not good at others. Focus on his passions and interests.

People will keep comparing your child to others but you have to keep in mind that your child is unique and he will be good at some things and not good at others

Like I experienced, not all schools will be supportive then you will have to find a school that realises the child’s problems and is open to discussions and decisions. From his school few children appeared in the boards with PWD admit cards. Lastly help is available. I never knew before that CBSE has so many provisions for people with disabilities. A parent has to learn, gain knowledge and work towards a goal all the while keeping the child’s mental well-being in mind. Chasing marks should not be the goal but helping him to overcome the challenges should be the focus. Then things will automatically fall in place. Nothing is impossible.