Archive for July, 2012

My ex-colleague Sarah Salvadore is just livid at NCW chairperson Mamta Sharma’s advice to women to dress carefully.  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/people/A-provocatively-dressed-woman-an-easy-prey/articleshow/15043860.cms

She wrote on her FB status: The NCW wants women to “dress carefully”, this coming from a commission that revealed the identity of the Guwahati victim. Ladies, we are better off without a commission for women, which is absolutely toothless and sexist.

I would rather go by what Sarah says and not some chairperson of NCW, who, it is very clear, is living back in time. Because I know for a fact Sarah is speaking from experience. She has actually worked as an undercover reporter in Times Of India, Kolkata and exposed how risky the city can be for a woman.

 Sarah had posed as a girl, whose delayed train arrival at Howrah Station had put her in a spot late in the night, because she didn’t know where to find a hotel. She was taken to the seediest hotels by a taxi driver, taken to the darkest corner of Metiabruz and told it was Park Street. She was subjected to perverse scrutiny by lobby managers and waiters who were hoping to bait the fish (and then do what, God only knows). Well! Sarah was dressed decently but her only crime was, her train had arrived late and she didn’t know the city well – a situation that any woman, non-pubbing and non-spaghetti-strap flaunting kinds – can get into, unless of course Mamta Sharma (strange how it’s Mamta every time) doesn’t approve of a woman travelling alone.

Is it really about clothes?

Anyway, clothes have nothing to do with sexual assault, it has been proved the world over, it’s high-time the NCW shed such archaic beliefs.

I am, like so many women out there, really confused about what’s exactly decent dressing though. Because if you are talking about a saree, I have often worn them to college on a cramped public bus and the hands got frenetic on my bare skin on the back. Now I cannot see myself putting on anything but an airhostess-cut blouse (it covers the back completely) whenever I wear a saree.

If you are talking about a salwar kurta with a generous dupatta covering the front, it does help, to minimize the groping from 10 to maybe four, on good days that is. But does it allow full cover from the perverts? No, not really.

A trouser can be provocative

Then there is the trouser paired with a full-sleeve shirt – does it help in any way? It doesn’t either.

I will talk about an incident here to present my view better. I remember I was looking particularly corporate kinds that day because I had dressed up for an important interview. I was returning home in a cab and the cabbie had a faulty meter and the bill was atrociously high. I got into an altercation with him and the cabbie tried hard to rally support from some men passing by. A group of drunk men, barged into our conversation. When I told them not to interfere, they got really aggressive and said, “What the **** do you think of yourself? Since you are wearing pants and having a mobile you think no end of yourself. We can teach you a lesson right here.”

It was 10pm, right in front of my apartment in Garia. I just took the cell phone and called our crime reporter and said loudly, “This is the number of the cab tell the OC of Garia Police Station to reach here immediately.” Hearing my conversation the cabbie instantly got behind the steering and fled leaving me to deal with the drunkards who were getting dangerously close and abusive now. Thankfully a few people came out from the neighbouring shops and my apartment. The OC didn’t have to finally intervene but I still get goose bumps when I think of that day.

The salwar kurta didn’t save my day, the police did

On another occasion I was, returning from work, in my first car, a khatara red second-hand Maruti, driven by my equally hopeless driver. Just a few yards away from office, on SN Banerjee Road, the car broke down. The driver kept trying to fix it while I stood next to him. The crowd started building up, then the questions, sneers and smirks started coming as if I had done something wrong. I looked for cover inside the car and the driver continued with his explanations but the crowd didn’t budge. I had the choice of leaving the car in my office which was difficult, because I would have had to push it against the flow on a one-way road or leave it at the police station which was just ahead. It was almost 10.30 pm by then. I chose the latter. The police readily agreed to watch over my car that night and graciously offered me tea when I went back in the morning to pick it up.

When I look back on that day the behavior of the crowd around me just gives me the chills – the nasty comments, the jeering and the uncomfortable proximity – all for what? I really don’t have an explanation. By the way, I was in a salwar kurta that day, mind it!

Now that the numbers are out – the National Crime Records have shown that in West Bengal there have been a staggering 29,133 reported incidents in 2011 accounting for 12.7 per cent of the total crime against women in India – media, political parties and governments are sitting up and taking notice of a malaise that every woman has to live with in West Bengal.

While our government, ironically headed by a woman, continues to live in blissful denial of the atrocious condition of women in our state, the kind of response my post on March 2011 headlined You are lucky if you have not been sexually harassed in Kolkata, http://amritaspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/you-are-lucky-if-you-have-not-been-sexually-harassed-in-kolkata/

had got, go on to reinforce the fact that harassment of women is an issue that touches each and everyone’s life.

I would say this escalation of violence and sexual abuse is not a sudden phenomenon, it has been a process taking place over a period of time.

I believe West Bengal is leading India in crimes against women because…

We are living in denial

While West Bengal’s State Industries Minister Partha Chatterjee has summed up the general attitude in his classic comment, “There is a national propaganda to show our government in bad light and hence all these figures are now being brought into the media,” he should check out this article published in the Times Of India in December 2006, when National Crime Records showed that West Bengal held second place in domestic violence, next only to Andhra Pradesh. (By the way we were governed by the Left then.)

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/calcutta-times/If-you-prick-us-do-we-not-bleed/articleshow/793369.cms

The statistics show in 2001, there were 265 reported cases of dowry deaths and 3,859 cases of domestic violence. In 2005, there were 446 dowry deaths recording an increase of 68 per cent and 6,936 cases of domestic violence, recording an increase of 80 per cent.

A problem can be addressed if a person is ready to accept there is a problem. If there is denial in the first place the question of a solution does not arise. I think the minister has already forgotten (in true politician style) the Park Street rape case, the Katwa train rape case and the molestation of a girl on Free School Street, which happened recently in the span of a few months.

Sexual abuse is a great way of showing power

After being humiliated by a boss at work many men like to get back their dignity by beating up their wives at home. I think groping a woman on a public transport is less about sexual gratification and more about getting satisfaction out of the embarrassment caused to a woman. This zeroes down to power play once again – that a man has the power to embarrass a woman. Gross, but it’s the truth.

As frustration among men rise because of the narrowing avenues of employment, escalating prices and reference group syndrome meaning that only a certain category of men having all the purchasing power, abusing women is a great way of keeping their slipping egos in place. That’s why in West Bengal women are abused by all kinds of men they interact with. Starting from the husband at home which leads to domestic violence, from the boss and colleagues which leads to harassment in the workplace, harassment in public transports and public places and last but not the least – political harassment, when a woman becomes the target of political parties trying to prove a point. A case in point would be the Nandigram rape case which became a complete political drama.

Chivalry is dying

Only a decade back if a woman had been harassed by a man all she needed to do was raise her voice and there would be a pack of men coming to her rescue. The dialogue would inevitably start with, “Didi apni jan. Amra dekhe nicchi. Ki byapar dada, ki hocchey?”  (Didi you go we will handle this. So dada what are you up to?).

I wonder where those men have gone now. Instead we have a pack of wolves waiting for a chance to pounce. They readily side with the perpetrator and keep questioning the woman’s dignity. In this regard I will mention two incidents. One was shared by my ex-colleague Moumita De Das on my blog.

Moumita wrote: “but i wud never forget  the day before dhanonjoy (hetal parekh rape n murder case) was about  to be hanged to death on 15TH August, 2004…the time was 10pm santoshpur mini bus…i boarded the bus from exide crossing as i was returning from my office (hindustan times). A drunk guy was too uncomfortably close…just then when i reacted… the entire menfolk were suddenly united and abusing me verbally… all were supporting dhanonjoy’s actions criticising our legal system for his verdict and so on and so forth…i felt as if i had been verbally gangraped….that day i sensed that dhanonjoy’s humiliation was affected personally all kolkata’s bhadralok and i realised MEN ARE NOT BHADRALOK…”

The other incident happened with my late brother Anirban Mukherjee. He was returning from work in a mini bus when a woman slapped a man because he was harassing her. All the men in the bus egged the man to slap her back. My brother was the only one to stand up for her and brought the situation under control.

I know there are a lot of men like my brother who have come to our rescue so many times. Wonder why they have become a vanishing lot these days.

Law keeps its eyes widely shut

It is the fear of law that keeps all kinds of criminals in check. But when it comes to crimes against women most often the criminals go scot-free or the trial becomes such a long-drawn affair that the crime itself is forgotten. If a criminal gets to know that he can get away with his crime, and quite easily too, why won’t he do it again?

And now I won’t be surprised if after all this brouhaha about the National Crime Records statistics there is an even bigger leap in the crimes against women. The perpetrators can have a free run because they are now sure they can get away with it. All the more thanks to ministers like Partha Chatterjee.

(What is your opinion about crimes against women in West Bengal? Please click the dialogue box on the right side of the headline and leave your comment. I would like to include your opinion in my next post.)

I have never been overtly fond of Aishwarya Rai, neither did I think too much about her acting capabilities till Provoked and Jodhaa Akbar happened. As a Bollywood writer I have criticized her fairly often but right now all I can say is I really appreciate Aishwarya Rai Bachchan not only for her new rotund frame but also the way she has proved a point with her post-baby fat. I like the fact that she has refused to bow down to showbiz perceptions of the perfect body. While critics continue to talk about her double chin I think she is the one who is having the last laugh. I give five reasons why…

Reason 1: Despite piling on the pounds she still takes home a fat paycheck

Post-childbirth I haven’t seen a single article or interview of Aishwarya Rai where her bloated frame has not been criticized, questioned or discussed. But she couldn’t care less. She continues to be the L’Oreal ambassador, walks the red carpet at Cannes, gets invited to high profile events like the Dubai World Cup and the Bulgari Hotel inauguration in London and takes a fat paycheck home.

Reason 2: She has proved fat is still beautiful (no matter what Kareena says)

Critisizing, yes, but ignoring her, no way – that’s the media mantra at the moment. So here is Ash gracing the front pages of every newspaper and plenty of magazines showing off her new-found wardrobe.

Reason 3: She has her priorities in place

While most Hollywood and now even Bollywood stars beat their body back to shape following a strict regime in the gym just after childbirth, not once even bothering if that’s the healthy way of doing things, Aishwarya Rai has made her point very clear. Being healthy for herself and her daughter is her priority. That sends a great message to all those mothers out there who are often depressed about their weight gain.

Reason 4: She is a better cultural ambassador for India than ever before

She is more often in Indian clothes these days than in western. So that’s a great opportunity for Indian designers to showcase yet again that it’s possible to hide the bulges and accentuate beauty in Indian clothes. I would any day vote for the Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla attire that she wore at Cannes than the Elie Saab gown.

Reason 5: She’s been there and done that

Aishwarya Rai has achieved all that (and actually more than) a woman can achieve in a lifetime. Now that she has been blessed with motherhood she is mature enough to realise that the joys of motherhood are far more than worrying over weight gain. Remember the continuous media speculation about a possible pregnancy for five long years? Now that she is finally a mother the new issue is her weight. If you are Ash Rai, the issues continue perpetually. The diva probably revels in that.