Smita Sharma is a woman with a mission. This young lady has been traveling to remote villages of India to photograph victims of rape and bring their stories to the world.

A rape victim caught on Smitha's frame

One of the rape survivors photographed by Smita Sharma

So far, she has photographed 27 women belonging to different states of India and the photos were showcased at an exhibition held at the India Habitat Centre in Delhi recently.

While the exhibition based on her project got rave reviews, and huge response from international media as well, it made Smita’s resolve to launch her awareness campaign even stronger.

She says: “Whenever I go to meet any victim, the last thing I ask is how it happened. I meet them as a friend. They are so horribly ostracized and shunned that sometimes I am the only one they have probably talked to in ages and shared a hug with. In my interactions with the rape survivors, I have realized there is a trend.

“Among the 27 women I photographed, 25 have been raped by people they knew. The rape was meticulously planned because the rapist kept track of the victim’s movements. In some cases, the perpetrators were arrested. In some others, they were not. In many cases, they were arrested but they are out on bail now.

“But in all cases, the onus of blame and shame has been on the woman. I met the family of a deceased 80-year-old lady, who had been raped by a 17-year-old boy and people laughed at her because they felt she was responsible for her rape.”

For the rest of the article go to Asia Times

I have been down with flu for the last five days. But mothers of five-year-olds, with their dads out of town, usually don’t have the luxury to hit the bed because of ill health.

In my desperate bid to keep my sanity alive I snatched a book from the shelf and was trying to read a few pages, while son played with his playmate in the same room, shrieking at the top of his voice.

At that moment I felt the only person who could probably understand my predicament was the writer of the book I was holding in my hand – Twinkle Khanna.

Twinkle Khanna Karan Johar

Twinkle with her best friend Karan Johar

I felt a strange camaraderie with the lady through her writing, a connection we had completely failed to establish when we had met in person more than 15 years back when she was still an actress and I was a full-time journalist.

When I went to interview her I found her very pretty, very polite and very boring with her answers (maybe that was because showbiz bored her to bits as she admits now).

For the entire article go to Bollywoodjournalist.com

The food stalls decorated during the South Point re-union at Wet-O-Wild at Nicco Park

The food stalls decorated during the South Point re-union at Wet-O-Wild at Nicco Park

The last time I attended the South Point School reunion was eight years back. So I was really excited when I walked into Wet-O-Wild at Nicco Park, recently, to attend my school reunion. While we had loads of fun here are a few realizations I had:

  • At the South Point reunion everyone talked about and looked for his or her “byatha”.

For the uninitiated this means the sweet heartache that comes from having feelings for someone. This could be also entirely one sided. While some were elated to find their byatha (in this case the person), some were dejected they didn’t, and some revealed how they ensure they keep in touch with their byathas on FB.

The clincher came from someone who asked me, “Do you know if X is coming?”

She was a few batches junior to me and X was her byatha.

I answered, “I really don’t know.”

Her hubby, looking dapper in a jacket, smiled.

I just nudged her and said, “Wouldn’t he mind?”

“Arrey nah didi. We always discuss our byathas. It’s okay. I even tell him when my byatha comes in my dream.”

Then I met another classmate, happily settled in Europe, who confided in me that more than spending time in his classroom he used to spend time in front of mine.

“Who was your byatha?” I asked.

I rattled off the names of the good-looking girls in our class. He stopped me at one name and at 41, blushed like a 13-year -old.

“She also lives in Europe. Maybe you can do a Dilwale Dulhaniya train journey one day,” I joked. He blushed again and this time the red wouldn’t leave his ears.

And those who actually found their byatha and had a word or maybe even shook a leg, were also persecuted by a few judgmental kinds, who probably feared their friends  were going to elope with their byathas that night or were plain jealous because they couldn’t find their own byathas.

One such conscience keeper in an attempt to embarrass a friend went up to him when he was dancing with his byatha, and said, “Would you want a picture together?”

The guy replied without blinking an eyelid, “Yes please. Post it on Facebook and make sure you tag my wife.”

Before I could react to this I saw A walking in then in a while spotted A’s ex-spouse B and then a while later spotted A’s second ex-spouse C with C’s current flame (I presumed. Now don’t blame me if this sounds like a riddle). All are ex-South Pointers.

The stage all set for the party

The stage all set for the party

  • Don’t cringe if you are called auntie/uncle

As soon I entered I heard a young girl shouting, “Auntie! Auntie!” I looked around and spotted my friend’s daughter.

“Which batch?” I asked. “2011,” she answered. I gulped. I am 1991 Madhyamik batch.

Then she put up her mobile cam and said in a sing-song voice, “Auntie selfie time. I have to send this to mom.”

I don’t know if I posed with a heavy heart or with a heart full of realizations, but I posed happy at the thought that this young girl, at least, wanted a selfie with me.

Back to our table I could hear my classmates laughing and saying the reunion crowd was strong in PYTs and oldies, we were not fitting in.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that probably when we again go to the reunion after another eight years we would be in the second group.

Because the last time I had gone I was 33 and never knew just eight years would make such a hasty difference on others’ perception about me.

As such my five-year-old, who, I was under the illusion, makes me look a young mom, is after my life to colour my greying strands.

Another classmate introduced me to her daughter, who is a tiny bit taller than me.

I had just started reflecting on my own age all over again, when her daughter said, “Aunty I really liked your book.”

I felt like telling her, “Call me aunty as many times beta, because your words are music to my ears.”

  • Most drank like it was their first sip from the bottle

People from all age groups were guzzling their drinks like it was their first taste of alcohol.

I guess the reunion reminded one of school days when you would sneak out a peg from your father’s wine cabinet and do the forbidden.  Hence school reunion is the time when one is reminded that one is allowed to drink as much one wants, with one’s own money and there is no guardian or teacher telling you that it’s not right. It’s a way of celebrating the long way we have come.

The spread at the do

The spread at the do

I asked a friend, “How many pegs?”

He answered very nonchalantly, “Seven.” Then he added equally coolly, “I topped it off with biriyani and kebabs and parantha from the Oudh 1590 stall.”

My head had just started reeling with the information when I saw a guy swaying precariously standing in front of me. Then he went down on his face.

A young girl in a mini skirt, looked at one guy in our group and said, “Uncle, can you please help me pick him up?”

My friend gave her a semi-disgusted look and unconsciously ran his finger on the hint of grey on his side burns,  then helped her pick up the sozzled guy.

I guess when you are neither too old nor too young you are just perfect to help in picking up the sozzled.

  • For once a girl was not judged for hanging out with 10 guys

When we were in our teens being the only girl in a group of 10 was a strict no-no. Somehow the presence of just another girl made the gender equation more acceptable. Growing up as a Pointer whenever we made plans to go for movies, pandal hopping during Pujas or any other outing, the question at home would always be, “I hope there is another girl in the group?”

I saw no logic behind the question but I think it kept us safe from the so- called social stigma of the tag: This girl only goes around with boys.

But at the school reunion a girl from South Point School – she could be 18 or she could be 50 – is free to mingle, dance, be tipsy, click selfies and hang out with those 10 guys of her batch, or for that matter any other batch, without being judged without being asked questions. It’s indeed a liberating experience.

I for once, screamed and danced to Jumma Chumma De De like there was no tomorrow.

  • The naughtiest are doing equally best

This time I met some of the naughtiest guys in my class. They were the ones who could never be disciplined, failed in class, were expelled and some passed with frightening marks.

I met a friend who actually had the cheek to come to school day after day with just a pen, without any school bag or exercise copies in the Xth standard and most of his time was spent standing in the corridor because he was punished.

When he felt like taking notes he would borrow paper from us and write and then crinkle the note and put it in his pocket maybe to bring it out only after the trouser had been washed.

But today he is in a good job and in one of the biggest corporations in Middle East.

Another friend said that he could click pictures with two batches because he had failed in the ninth standard. Then out of curiosity I asked him what’s his profession. He told me he’s lived in three foreign countries, is a citizen of one of those and a fourth one is his home now and he holds a good position in an insurance company.

Needless to say they are still the naughtiest, but they have made themselves the best too.

(Pix courtesy Kaushik Sengupta and Ranjana Roychowdhury Banerjee )

Recently I was reading Shoma A. Chatterji’s book Filming Reality: The Independent Documentary Movement in India (Published by Sage) when I realized how little is known about the documentary movement in India which started three decades back and has proved to be a very strong alternative voice on celluloid.

However, if most Indians are asked to mention one documentary focusing on women’s issues that they watched in recent times, the unanimous answer would be India’s Daughter made by Leslee Udwin.

Thanks to the controversial content of the film, the ban on it by Indian Government in 2014 and the publicity it garnered, the film has found a space in the mind of the masses.

Filming Reality is written by Shoma A. Chatterji

Filming Reality is written by Shoma A. Chatterji

But as is well known, and as Chatterji also ratifies in her book, when it comes to indigenous documentaries on women made by women, there are plenty in India that are a must watch but are often plagued by a lack of awareness and publicity.

Chatterji, who is a National Award-winning author herself,  writes: “Documentary cinema was almost exclusively a man’s world till around the 1970s. However, change in the direction of the wind brought in more and more women into the field. The documentary movement in India today has as many women film-makers as men, if not more since a demographic profile is not possible.”

Filming Reality contains in-depth analysis of the work of Indian women documentary film-makers and talks about how they have dealt with varied issues like sexual harassment in the workplace, trafficking and child marriage. They are also looking at other relevant issues like food, politics in India, socialization of violence and many more.

It has taken Chatterji painstaking research for five years to write the book but what she has written is the most comprehensive presentation of the documentary movement in India.

In this article, I list 10 commendable women filmmakers, about whom Shoma A. Chatterji has talked in her book. These are women who have challenged the perceptions of Indian society and continue to do so with their phenomenal work.

  1. Sherna Dastur

Her film Manjuben Truck Driver (2002) is about a woman who broke gender stereotypes. She has deliberately assumed a male identity, dresses up like a man, speaks like local goons, likes to be photographed in movie-star style, blends into the masculine world of truck drivers, and commands respect. But she believes that the man of the house should get special privileges like eating before the women and follows that diligently because of her so-called “male” profession and hence derived identity.

  1. Nidhi Tuli

Her documentary The Saroj Khan Story is about the Bollywood choreographer who has broken every rule in the choreography book. One of the most successful choreographers of all time, Saroj never cared for glamor or clothes, she let her work speak for her and she has been brazen, bold, uncompromising, rude and ruthless.

Saroj Khan

Saroj Khan

From a background dancer to Bollywood’s best known choreographer, her rise has been phenomenal but apart from the professional ups and downs, the film takes a look at her personal life where she was dumped by her mentor when she got pregnant. She had to deal with her daughter’s illness and her eventual death.

  1. Mamta Murthy

Her film Colours Black made in 2011 is a beautifully structured documentary based on four children, now adults in different stages of life, recounting mainly off camera, their experience of child abuse and the silence they were coerced into which continued till they grew up.

  1. Nishtha Jain

A scene from Gulabi Gang

A scene from Gulabi Gang

She has made a number of documentaries and won prestigious awards too but two of her best works are Lakhsmi and Me and Gulabi Gang.

Lakshmi and Me delves into the life of a maid Lakshmi who works in Nishtha’s home and she shows through the film how little an employer knows about the life of a maid who has to constantly deal with the drudgery of working in different homes and the lack of love and security in her personal life.

Nishtha, in an interview in the book, says: “In one scene, I seem like such a nag about the teacups and my editor took it out because I didn’t sound nice. We finally put it back. Because I control the camera I cannot paint myself white.”

Gulabi Gang follows the Gulabi Gang, an unsual group of rural women in Bundelkand in central India dressed in dark pink sarees led by their leader Sampat Lal fighting for the rights of women and Dalits across several villages.

  1. Ananya Chakraborty Chatterjee

Her 2010 film Understanding Trafficking shows how trafficking is an organized crime involving a human chain starting with parents, who are willing to sell off their girls, and pimps some of whom even pose as social activists.

The film won a National Award.

Her other hard-hitting documentaries include Gandhari where she has shown how women have naturalized the silent process of subjugation, suffering and oppression.

Najaayaz is on the vulnerabilities of the children of sex workers. The School that Karmi Soren Built is about this tribal lady who gave all her land for the only school to be built on it in the area so that it could transform lives.

  1. Suhasini Mulay

A National Award-winning veteran actress, Suhasini Mulay has 60 documentaries to her credit four of which have won National Awards.

An Indian Story, based on the 1978 Bhagalpur blindings when a set of undertrials lost their vision when acid was forcibly poured in their eyes, and Bhopal-Beyond Genocide on the Bhopal gas tragedy, are two of the winners. Her first film made in 1977 on women’s literacy was picked up by UNICEF.

  1. Deepa Dhanraj

One of the best known documentary filmmakers, Deepa Dhanraj has a number of powerful documentaries to her credit.

For instance, Invoking Justice (2011) is a strikingly original film on how a group of women got together in 2004 to form their own Jamaats (gatherings) in southern India where so far Jamaats were all-men local bodies, who tried disputes according to Islamic Sharia Law and rarely gave a chance to women to defend themselves.

The network comprised 12,000 women and despite immense resistance from men, they have been able to settle 8,000 cases that range from wife beating to murder.

Her other film, Something Like a War delves into the forced vasectomies and sterilizations on Indian rural poor that were carried out during the Emergency to control the population.

  1. Madhushree Dutta

Her film I Live in Behrampada fetched a number of awards. It was a socio-political feedback on the people of Behrampada, a slum-like neighborhood near Mumbai’s Bandra station where Hindus and Muslims lived in peace and harmony, which was shattered by police atrocities on the minority community after the Mumbai riots of 1992.

Her film Memories of Fear, which shows how girls are socialized into a fear psychosis about just anything so that it is easier to control and suppress them, got her the National Award for the Best Film in 1996.

  1. Paromita Vohra

Her works are tinged with satire and humor and interestingly two of her most successful documentaries talk about society through food.

Annapurna: Goddess of Food is about a women’s co-operative started by 14 women in 1975, who cooked meals for the migrant workers. The co-operative now boasts of a membership of 150,000 and has its own credit co-operative bank, short-stay home and a catering centre.

Defeat of a Minor Goddess tries to delve into food politics as an understanding of intolerance and the meaning of public and private space. The idea struck her when she realized a whole area in Mumbai was vegetarian starting from restaurants to apartment buildings.

  1. Reena Mohan

Kamlabai, the first screen actress of India, was 88 when the documentary was shot. The film Kamlabaishot in 1992 remains a landmark documentary that traces the life of this old lady through the mundane daily chores and yet there are flashes of her past and a glimpse of her sense of humor.

Skin Deep is more contemporary and extremely relevant at a time when every Indian woman is grappling with body image. The filmmaker interviews six women in various ages and from different social backgrounds and shows how they constantly struggle to live up to the social expectations of beauty.

(This article, written by me, was recently published in the website Asia Times.)

 

Actress Ananya Chatterjee

Actress Ananya Chatterjee

I had been away from Kolkata for more than seven years but what makes me feel really wonderful to be back in the city is the warmth of the people I have always known professionally and personally.

Recently when I was invited to the newly-opened seafood and tribal cuisine restaurant, Fishermen’s Deck, on Swinhoe Street, apart from sampling their mouth-watering fare, I was really looking forward to meeting Ananya Chatterjee, who was the celeb guest at the do.

While working as a full-time journalist in Kolkata I had known Ananya well. She was always a straight-talking person, lived life on her own terms, believed in style statements and needless to say, was supremely talented.

The last time we exchanged an SMS was in 2009 when she bagged the National Award for Best Actress for her role in Abohoman directed by late Rituparno Ghosh. I was elated that she had won. She acknowledged my wishes with warmth.

The next time we met was a few weeks back at the restaurant and I was elated once again to see that Ananya hadn’t changed a wee bit. She hugged me warmly and said, “I was looking forward to the adda with you.”

We quickly got down to that between devouring pepper calamari and green rice. Ananya wanted the mutton, made in bamboo, to be specially cooked for her and with her trademark simplicity she told me: “I can only have the crab if you can extract the meat for me from the shell.”

I did that. Then we moved on to the unusual-yet-tasty egg halwa and embarked on a trip down memory lane talking about all our earlier addas on shooting floors, at parties and about a couple of occasions when she saved my day by accommodating a last-minute shoot in her hectic schedule.

The interiors of Fishermen's Deck

The interiors of Fishermen’s Deck where Ananya and I had our chat and yum seafood

While talking about work, Ananya said: “You know I can never accept a script where I don’t have much acting to do. But I am looking at some innovative work which includes a short film.”

Now close on the heels of the superhit short film Ahalya, that stars yet another wonderful actor and down-to-earth human being Tota Roy Chaudhury, Ananya is acting in Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury’s 15-minute Debi.

The film has got an equally talented cast of Arjun Chakraborty, Koushik Banerjee, Reshmi Sen and singer Monali Thakur.

Filmmaker Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury

Filmmaker Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury

Debi is about the nostalgia of Durga Puja in Kolkata and about homecoming. It is nothing like Ahalya but it has something that is bound to pull at your heart strings and remind you about the Bengali’s love for grandparents, for food and the magic of wearing red during Durga Puja.

It’s nine days to Durga Puja now and National Award-winning director Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury couldn’t have picked a better time to release Debi online. This is the time Bengalis all over the world miss the azure of the Bengal sky, what we call the “sarater akash”.

Ananya has beautifully portayed the character of a strong, independent single mom Anu, who comes to her ancestral home during Durga Puja with daughter Lali in tow.

Some relationships don’t change even if you haven’t met for ages – like mine with Ananya’s or Anu’s with her home.

Watch to see what I mean:

Link to Short film Debi

 

 

 

Exit Interview is a fiction published by Rupa Publications

Exit Interview is a fiction published by Rupa Publications

“How many times will you read it? Haven’t you written this book? Then why are you always reading it? Will you not read my books?” my five-year-old son Vivaan was really infuriated.

It was end of May and a couple of days after Rupa Publications had delivered author copies of Exit Interview, my first attempt at writing a fiction, at my doorstep, and I had not yet got over the thrill of holding my book, smelling it and going through it, although by then I knew every page by heart.

But Vivaan wasn’t liking the fact that I was suddenly giving more importance to Exit Interview than Hansel &Gretel and I was even telling him to sleep off on his own while I had work to do.

“Work? What work? You are reading your book. That can’t be work.” He retorted.

I lovingly showed him the acknowledgments page where his name is there. He looked at it and then seemed satisfied that even in the book he continues to be the centre of his mom’s universe.

Vivaan probably will never know that my protagonist Rasha Roy has been actually abandoned so many times for him – for the call of his nappy changing-feeding-cuddling duties.

I started writing the book when my son was 10 months old. I had just quit my job in Dubai and I was at home, writing. Obviously it was expected or I was internally conditioned that way, I suppose, to get up from my laptop every time my son wailed.

Although Rajasri, the wonderful lady who looked after my son was there by his side all the time, I was there too telling myself, “Isn’t this why I left my job?”

Hence the breaks from writing extended to walks in the stroller and playing sessions in the balcony.  Sometimes when I went back to Rasha Roy, my protagonist, I had forgotten what she was doing or what I wanted her to do. My train of thought had been shattered.

There were days Vivaan kept me so busy that I couldn’t write a single line and there were days I would be up all night writing. Some nights Vivaan was so restless and wanted me by his side (we always co-slept) that I also tossed and turned with the next twist in the tale in my head, unable to put it down on the keyboard.

Sometimes when I sat down to write instead of the words the only thing that came was my tears. I was still mourning the untimely demise of my brother Anirban. It had only been 10 months that cancer had taken him away.

But was it Rasha who gave me the strength to carry on, to write the story or was it Vivaan, this little boy, who only knew the sound of my heartbeat, who changed me as a person altogether and gave me the strength to follow my dream?

I wouldn’t know. But four years down the line I have realized Vivaan doesn’t like Rasha. While looking at a newspaper review or a picture of a friend on Facebook holding my book he does get excited saying, “Isn’t that your book?” but the next statement inevitably is, “If you are writing again it better be a book you can read out to me at night.”

Picture taken from the internet

Picture taken from the internet

That day a friend casually said, “Rasha Roy’s story would make a great sequel. Are you thinking of writing one?”

Before I could answer, Vivaan said, “No Rasha, only Puti.”

“Puti? Who’s Puti?” my friend asked.

Vivaan clarified, “She’s a girl from the village who can beat the boys at racing, fight off bank robbers and hijackers, she saved a boy from drowning, she is a supergirl. Mom has made Puti for me.”

The last sentence was uttered with a pride that melted my heart – a pride that comes from his innocence, a pride that he feels about my book but can’t express, a delight that he feels to have the creator of Rasha or Puti as his mom.

Few days back an uncle had come home and asked for a copy of the book. I just had a couple left and needed to send it to someone so I said I didn’t have any.

I quickly realized why people say you should never lie in front of  a child.

“Why? Aren’t there a few copies in the blue bag?” Vivaan said with authority. With great embarrassment I explained to my uncle the reason I couldn’t give those.

After he was gone Vivaan told me, “You should have given him the copies. Exit Interview is intolerable anyway.”

(Any kind of reaction failed me because I was astonished anyway that my son had the good sense to tell me this after my uncle left.)

So looks like I might have to choose Puti over Rasha very soon but I wonder whether Puti will be able to deal with bank robbers and hijackers between me handling homework, school drop off and pick up, freelance deadlines, blogging and my naughty son hitting the sleep button on the laptop at the slightest opportunity.

PS: If you are still interested to read Rasha’s story then for online orders check Flipkart, Amazon India and Amazon International.

“… I think that childfree by choice is the new gay. We’re the new disenfranchised group. People think we’re irresponsible, immoral sluts and that our lifestyle is up for debate.”

Suchismita Dasgupta

Suchismita Dasgupta

Suchismita Dasgupta wrote this on her Facebook wall a few days back. I was not surprised though. She is someone who has always spoken her mind and not always done exactly what society expected her to do. That is why Suchismita, though happily married, has decided not to be a mother.

In this post Suchismita, in her inimitable bold style, has penned her thoughts on being childfree in Indian society:

What’s a good reason to have a child?

Yes, it’s a bit tiring! I got married at 33 and have been hearing since I was 23 when am I going to get married? Then around 30, if I don’t get married now then when will I have kids? Then 7 years after getting married, I am still told ‘but you will make such a wonderful mother’ or ‘you will miss them when you are older’ or ‘it is so selfish not to have a child’ or ‘who will look after you when you are old?’. It has always made me wonder are these reasons good enough to have a child when you and your partner do not want one?

My masseuse came today for the first time. Yes I am 41 and till now didn’t think massage was important. Anyway coming back to the point, she asked me my age etc. and then children? When I replied that I don’t have any her next question was ‘naoni na hoyni’, literally translated it means, you haven’t taken one or it didn’t happen???!!!

How can a child just “happen”?

I find this word ‘happen’ extremely infuriating. In India everything seems to be happening to you. Marriage happens to you, child happens to you, misfortune happens to you and the list is endless. As if we are a bunch of reproduction machines, programmed to get married, consummate the same and reproduce. If you have not done any of them, then you are an irresponsible person bringing shame to the family.

Am I supposed to feel guilty for not having a maternal instinct?

I once had a conversation with a woman; she and her husband adopted a girl when she was about 40. This was soon after our marriage and she took it upon herself to tell me how important having children was. When I told her that I love children as long as they go back to someone else’s home, she said I was plain selfish, someone who doesn’t like children is not worth talking to. Now that suited me fine, I really didn’t care but it made me wonder how patriarchal and institutionalised this whole thought process was. I am sure there would be many (in my shoes) who would have felt guilty after this conversation for not having a lot of maternal instinct.

It’s a well-thought out decision made by two people

In seven and a half years of marriage my husband and I both asked each other many times if the other really wanted a child and was not saying that because of the decision we took jointly and each time after a lot of discussion and deliberation the answer has remained the same. I still think to myself sometimes what if? But then I realise I am too settled in my life as it is right now; there’s no reason why I should change it! It might be for better or for worse but since I do not feel the urge to change it, I won’t do it and I don’t think I owe this to anyone either.

I think there should be a reason to have a child

Everyone should have a reason to have a child. A child should not just ‘happen’ to you because that’s the way you have known things to ‘happen’. Some of my friends and acquaintances have given birth to a ‘bandaid’ child; they gave birth because they think the child will save their relationship.

I feel instant pity for the poor child and the baggage it is born with. Added to this will be the pressure to perform and cope with the constant competition between the parents for attention.

A child is not born to fulfill dreams

Many parents want to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams through their children. I know someone who tells his two-year-old daughter that she has to become a doctor. I see parents treating their children like a talking doll. You go to their place, they call their children and ask them to show all the skills they have acquired. Who cares if the child hates to perform in front of strangers.

Suchismita in a Nextiles creation

Suchismita in a Nextiles creation

I am a doting aunt but can’t do this full time

I as an individual have no such personal crisis or future plans, in fact, I have no maternal instinct either (yeah go on call me a slut) and to be absolutely honest, I feel extremely settled and comfortable in the current state of being and I somehow don’t want to disturb that. My sudden motherhood rushes (like chocolate rush) are fulfilled by my absolute gorgeous nieces and nephews with whom I have a mutual adoration club. In fact, being a favourite aunt to many for the last 16 years, I realised, I cannot do it full time. So whilst being an aunt absolutely suits me, being a mother definitely doesn’t.

Why can’t a woman challenge social norms?

Our upbringing leads us to believe that women are the reproduction agents, who “must” look after children, home etc. We have enough books, films, television to support and coax you into that system. However the time has changed, we don’t think in terms of man and woman as genders anymore. It’s also about time we treat each other as individuals. I (a woman) as an individual may not want to give birth/adopt, breast feed/look after feeding, be woken up in the middle of night, or wake up the child in the morning to take to school. My choice, right?

Making a choice does not mean disregarding a system

Just like you don’t ask an individual (at least I should think you don’t), do you have a car? A bungalow? A pet dog? A Rolex watch? An M. F. Hussain painting? Don’t ask do you have a child? They are all pretty much a matter of choice and affordability.

At this point, I must apologise to some of you who might have been upset by the points I have picked up. That definitely wasn’t my intention. To me/us children have always been a matter of choice; the likes of us don’t believe that we must condone a system if we didn’t want to.

My choice comes with huge responsibility

To me this world has lost its story; and I must say I don’t think that this world deserves another new life, definitely not someone I will be bringing up. So let’s go back to the matter of choice. We all have a right to choose, like you choose to have a child, I choose not to have one. And to be honest this choice too comes with a huge responsibility. One day may be we will learn to respect that. Till then I live with hope.

About Suchismita:

If you have been raving about Sujoy Ghosh’s short film Ahalya then you should also know that Suchismita was the dress designer of the film. Not only that one she was the designer for Kahaani, and some of her designs were used in Parineeta. She was the winner of the Best Costume Award at Madrid International Film Festival 2013 for her work in the Bengali film Koyekti Meyer Galpo. Till date she has been the costume designer for more than two dozen films and one of the noted recent releases is Kadambari.

(From left:) Radhika Apte, make-up artist Aniruddha Chakladar, Tota Roy Choudhury and Suchismita on the sets of Ahalya

(From left:) Radhika Apte, make-up artist Aniruddha Chakladar, Tota Roy Choudhury and Suchismita on the sets of Ahalya

Growing up in Kolkata, Suchismita Dasgupta felt the need of creating comfortable yet exclusive garments using the traditional textiles and techniques. Hence, she formed Nextiles in 2004.

Nextiles focuses on the most important aspects: fabric, fit, and tailoring quality. Working closely with the weavers, embroiderers and printers from all over India, Nextiles’ main focus is to translate the traditional handwork into styles that suit the urban needs.

Nasseruddin Shah, Sujoy Ghosh, Soumik Sen, Swastika Mukherjee, Paoli Dam, Sahana Bajpayee, Aniruddha Chakladar, Ananya Chatterjee, Bidipta Chakraborty and Aparajita Ghosh are celebs who swear by Nextiles.